Navigating Life: Day 7- After Spouse Death

April 8, 2026 — Day 7

Today is day 7.

I woke up feeling intense.

I couldn’t really sleep. My stomach was turning, flipping. My heart felt so heavy.

I had to make an early trip to the dispensary this morning.

The day started off heavy… and I don’t even fully understand why.

I reached out to your sister this morning, but I haven’t heard back.

I’m trying to keep things moving like normal… or at least as normal as I can.

But I can’t process any paperwork.

Every time I try to focus, my mind goes into static, like a black-and-white TV with no signal.

I scheduled doctor’s appointments for the kids and me for two weeks out.

Even that felt unnatural.

I only made three appointments instead of four.

Little things like that keep hitting me.

I started reaching out to lawyers today too.

Trying to understand my next steps.

Trying to do everything properly. Legally.

Protect the kids.

Protect what we want to build.

Protect our legacy.

I heard back from another one of your sisters… and something feels different.

The energy has changed.

No one is really giving me information anymore.

I can feel something shifting, and it’s making me uneasy.

I feel like I’m spiraling a bit.

At one point, I was told that no one’s life is going to stop because you passed. I understand what she means, its the same thing we always said.

I know everything will work itself out.

All I can do is pray.

They asked to speak to my mom.

She was going to help with the funeral… but now, you know how she is.

At this point, my mom would rather give the boys and me the money directly to make sure we’re okay.

And honestly… that doesn’t change what I’m dealing with here.

Your family and friends are working together to make sure you’re laid to rest properly.

And I thank God for that.

Truly.

Once that’s done, life just keeps moving.

For everyone.

And here I am…

Standing at the beginning of an entirely new chapter.

Trying to understand it.

Trying to accept it.

Trying to figure out how to live it.